Skip to content

I’m tall, I’m in front of you – Deal With It.

October 16, 2013

These past two weekends of ACL brought many great things to Austin: incredible shows, an economic jolt, great culture etc. However, my favorite part is without a doubt the flood of people who reminded me every 10 minutes that I’m taller than them.

Sometimes I forget that I’m tall but thanks to these people I am able to remember the gift that genetics have graced me with.

Those of a smaller stature may cringe at the idea of staring at my back during a show. Meanwhile those of you who are an average height may experience both sides. Either way, it seems that the tall people always get the bad rap in this situation. Therefore, it’s about time I give the tall concert-goers a voice.

As a 6-foot-5-inch tall, dark and handsome male, I am reminded of my height fairly often. As a frequent concertgoer, however, I am practically scorned for it. Like most fans, I prefer to see concerts in a general admission setting. While being in the GA is the only way to really be part of the action, entering Stubb’s means practically approaching a guillotine as a tall person.

Image

Kanye West performs at 2013 Governor’s Ball music festival in New York while I’m closer to our lord and savior- thanks to my height. Yeezus saves. (photo: Greg Earl)

As soon as the crowd starts to build, the short people start to get mad. Those who wind up standing behind me always do the same things to try to make my life miserable. Yelling at me, bumping into me, and the all-time short person favorite: poking me in the back until I have to turn around.

Believe me, I can understand why people would be upset about not being able to see the show. In fact, I’ve experienced before, including when I was stuck behind a ginger guy who kept bumping his afro into my face and mouth.

Not all of us can be blessed with my stature. However, if you’re a short person, pay attention because you need to realize a few things about tall people. And keep in mind that my bitterness is due to years of conflict with your kind.

If a show is GA, it means that everyone paid the same price for their ticket and therefore the only added variable is what time you get there. Every person, according to their ticket price is entitled to stand wherever they want. Therefore, if I am there before you and your group of friends ends up standing behind me, poke me in the back all you want but I won’t just politely let you go in front of me. If I let everyone who’s shorter than me go in front of me, I’d end up near the back of the venue pretty quickly. You should have gotten to the show earlier.

Image

This tall guy at an Arcade Fire show at Randall’s Island, NY has the right idea. (photo: Brooklyn Vegan)

Now this doesn’t excuse tall people from being jerks. Tall people need to have a certain amount of courtesy to make the concert experience better for everyone. I do a few things to avoid getting in people’s ways. So all the tall people reading can take some tips and think about these.

First, I avoid squeezing my way into the middle of the crowd. As I said before, if you want to be closer to the stage, get there earlier, so I get as close as I can without jumping in front of people. And if the group I’m with want to move up, I make them lead so people don’t get too antsy and once I’m in the spot I look behind me and make sure I’m not directly in someone’s way.

I also try to congregate around other tall people. This way the tall people are almost quarantined from the rest of the crowd so short people can avoid the area.

Finally, I basically just try to have common courtesy. Once I’m in a spot I try to stay put so that I’m not swaying in and out of someone’s vision. I make sure I’m not getting in front of a super short person, and if someone politely asks if they can move in front of me I even consider it. (If you’re a guy don’t think you’ll be able to pull that move on me)

For you short people, just think about how us tall folks must feel. It’s a lot of pressure being above a sea of heads. Everyone can see me and my awkwardness. And I make eye contact with the musicians a bit more than I’d like to. I feel like I have to represent the crowd and look like I’m having the time of my life if they keep looking at me (and I’d rather just cross my arms and move my head at a Wilco show).

Meanwhile, tall people should be considerate of the short people around them. But don’t let them get what they want or else they’ll never stop taking advantage us.

As long as everyone calms down and acts rationally then we can all just enjoy the show.

But most importantly if you’re below 6 feet tall, stop poking my back.

Advertisements

From → Uncategorized

4 Comments
  1. This was the best. As a short person, I just make sure I’m in the front.

  2. My technique, at 62 inches of grandness, is to find the tall guy in GA, offer him a hit of the spliff and provide him weed, food and drinks while he serves as shade, fencing, and wall. It’s all about reciprocity.

  3. Hahahaha. Yes. Scorned for it. It’s fine and dandy when they want something off the top shelf in the grocery market but just inconvenient anywhere else. Sigh.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Bitter Reasons to be tall | Ben's Bitter Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: